


a bop is you shutting your big fat mouth

by shouyox



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Is So Done, Established Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, F/F, Group chat, Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma Friendship, Idk m8, Implied Sexual Content, Kageyama Tobio is a Dork, M/M, Memes, Nonbinary Kozume Kenma, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Oikawa Tooru, Protective Tsukishima Kei, Trans Yamaguchi Tadashi, asahi is too pure for this world, bokuto scrEE, dadchi™, honestly end me, honestly they're all just gay, i accidentally made hinata depressed but like i swear it was an accident, iwaoi slow burn, kenhina is such a cute friendship, mattsun and makki the meme husbands, maybe not, not so slow burn?, not too harsh tho, oikawa is a jealous bitch, oikawa is angsty lol dont @ me, shitabu, someone needs to take ao3 away from me, sugamomma, tender salami, terushima deserves more attention you heathens, they all attack oikawa, they're the only canon couple other than matsuhana atm, watch me add dark themes LMAO, yachi is so gay, yamaguchi isnt pure lmfao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-01-28 19:38:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12613940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouyox/pseuds/shouyox
Summary: hinata makes a groupchatromance happensmemes happenshit happens.[im bad at summaries but heres this]





	1. we are gay and hit balls

**Author's Note:**

> i am back on my bullshit™
> 
> i really needa update space jam but instead i made another gc fic
> 
> pls dont attack my ass
> 
> (most characters are ooc,,, hinata is vERY ooc.)

**hinahitmyass has added Kageyama Tobio, sugasuckmyass, Dadchi Doesnt Approve, YamabOOTY, Tsukishima Kei, Our Lord and Savior Assahi™, nYOOM, shimmymyjimmies, yEETchi, oikaweewee, Iwazumi Arm-chan, mattsunishighleavehimalone, makkisuxdicc to the chat suck my volleyballs**

 

Kageyama Tobio: Hinata boke, why did you add me to this bullshit?

 

oikaweewee: TOBIO-CHAN

 

Kageyama Tobio: Nope.

 

**Kageyama Tobio has left the chat.**

 

hinahitmyass: oh no u dont 

 

**hinahitmyass has added Kageyama Tobio to suck my volleyballs**

 

sugasuckmyass: omg hinata u actually went through w this ily

 

hinahitmyass: <3

 

Kageyama Tobio: What the Fuck is going on in here.

 

nYOOM: omg we got the seijhoes 2

 

hinahitmyass: yeah i thought itd be rude to leave em out

 

YamabOOTY: u say as we missing like half our team

 

hinahitmyass: oops

 

oikaweewee: SEIJHOES

 

Dadchi Doesnt Approve: Hinata  _why_

 

hinahitmyass: blame suga what the heck i did nothing wrong

 

sugasuckmyass: MY OWN SON BETRAYED ME WHAT IS THIS BS

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: Who the FUCK named me this.

 

Kageyama Tobio: Hello Iwaizumi-san.

 

oikaweewee: u say hello to iwa-chan?? but not me?? whag is this BULYING -`д´-

 

makkisuxdicc: whag

 

mattsunishighleavehimalone: bulying

 

oikaweewee: suck my wee wee

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: Hey Kageyama.

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: Excuse me while I punch Shittykawa. 

 

oikaweewee: wtf u aint even over hoe dont test me

 

Tsukishima Kei: Oh god, the idiot started a group chat.

 

hinahitmyass: suck my tit saltyshitma

 

Dadchi Doesnt Approve: HINATA SHOUYO WATCH YOUR MOUTH

 

sugasuckmyass: LMAOOOO

 

nYOOM: hinata is like a total different person online its kinda scary

 

hinahitmyass: are u insulting me because ive got blackmail m8

 

nYOOM: calm ur tit

 

hinahitmyass: >:(

 

shimmymyjimmies: why am i here

 

yEETchi: oh my god SHOUYO

 

hinahitmyass: heyy ^^

 

Kageyama Tobio: I hate this family.

 

oikaweewee: AWWW YOU CALLED ME FAMILY TOBIO-CHAN <33

 

Kageyama Tobio: Iwaizumi-san, didn't you say you were going to punch him?

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: Oh I am, give me a sex.

 

sugasuckmyass: ...

 

YamabOOTY: ...

 

yEETchi: ...

 

Tsukishima Kei: ...

 

mattsunishighleavehimalone: ...

 

makkisuxdicc: ...

 

nYOOM: ...

 

hinahitmyass: is anyone gonna tell him

 

Dadchi Doesnt Approve: Let him live, he means well

 

oikaweewee: LMAO IWA-CHAN SAID SEX

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: I AM GOING TO FUCKING PUNCH YOU ALL THE WAY TO KARASUNO IF YOU DONT SHUT YOUR BIG ASS MOUTH.

 

mattsunishighleavehimalone: oikawa,, ive heard u jacking off in the changing room shut ur fuck

 

oikaweewee: THAT WAS A SECRET YOU _WHORE_

 

nYOOM: jesus the seijhoes are wild

 

Our Lord and Savior Assahi™: i heard my name 

 

sugasuckmyass: SCREAMS

 

yEETchi: i love our family

 

hinahitmyass: ok i did actually invite yall here for a reason yknow

 

Kageyama Tobio: ?

 

Tsukishima Kei: He was actually using his brain for once, go figure.

 

hinahitmyass: oh go hop on a dildo

 

sugasuckmyass: shOUYO

 

Dadchi Doesnt Approve: oH SO NOW YOU YELL AT HIM

 

hinahitmyass: ok but so like

 

hinahitmyass: ive been feeling like?? super shitty lately?? so i thought why not make a gc?? so send memes to cure my depression

 

sugasuckmyass: are u ok??? do u need some cookies?? or hugs??

 

nYOOM: ok thats it im roundin up the karasuno bitches, we're gonna go visit hinata

 

hinahitmyass: what no i havent showered in like four days

 

Tsukishima Kei: I thought spring break was to get away from you losers.

 

Kageyama Tobio: Oh my god, just go munch on your dick for a while then if you don't want to give a shit about our teammates.

 

oikaweewee: HOLY SHIT

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: Was that really Kageyama? Holy fuck.

 

sugasuckmyass: ok so like i know i should stop the fighting but HOLY SHIT DID KAGEYAMA JUST DEFEND HINATA

 

yEETchi: im sobbing

 

shimmymyjimmies: i cant believe that just happened

 

hinahitmyass: aweee,, do u care abt me yamayama

 

Kageyama Tobio: Shut the fuck up, dumbass.

 

hinahitmyass: i feel so loved

 

Dadchi Doesnt Approve: YOU THREE ARE DOING LAPS AFTER BREAK, OH MY LORD.

 

Dadchi Doesnt Approve: Also, everyone in Karasuno meet at school so we can pick up some meat buns for Hinata please.

 

hinahitmyass: im crying yall so nice to my stinky ass

 

Kageyama Tobio: Please, for all of us, take a damn shower before we get there.

 

hinahitmyass: fine

 

oikaweewee: WHAT THE FUCK IWACHAN IS AT MY IWNDOFAS

 

makkisuxdicc: lmao i knew it

 

mattsunishighleavehimalone: took him long enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is rlly shitty
> 
> but like
> 
> i might write more chapters if yall like it and are into it
> 
> maybe ill actually follow my tags and maybe make a plot?? who knows
> 
> anyways, thanks for reading!
> 
> hmu on the twit twats: twitter.com/lovelymcclain  
> hmu on the tumblr too if u want: stunningmcclain.tumblr.com


	2. i just clicked add a chapter and already forgot if i put ch1 as 1 or said something funny god dammit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama Tobio: Can I ask something?
> 
>  
> 
> Dadchi Doesn't Approve: *takes out camera*
> 
>  
> 
> sugasuckmyass: *screams loudly* OF COURSE SWEETIE
> 
>  
> 
> Kageyama Tobio: Nevermind, I don't want to ask it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so,
> 
> this was abandoned for a bit.
> 
> whoooppsssss!!!!
> 
> im sorry i was working on some oc stuff and some uhhhh,, emotional/mental health sHit
> 
> but now we back baby B)
> 
> letsaaaa gooo 
> 
> (also just realized this may be hinata-centric OOf)

hinahitmyass: i just saw daichi full on act like he was falling just so he could kiss suga w/o the coach figuring out their fRICKING

 

sugasuckmyass: WHAT THE FRICK

 

oikaweewee: is that rlly u shrimpy

 

hinahitmyass: yes, would you like proof ill send a nip pic u frick

 

Tsukishima Kei: Well someone isn't in the best mood today.

 

hinahitmyass: im never in a good mood on mondays its a Fact if you Paid Attention

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: Why Do people Capitalize Their Words Randomly like This?

 

makkisuxdicc: to show emphasis/or so you read it in ur funky mind voice

 

Dadchi Doesn't Approve: you expose your own father in a groupchat he's in. SHAME.

 

hinahitmyass: i just flipped off the whole team with my nostrils and no one saw it so yes, i get to expose u

 

oikawaweewee: 1.) what the heck how do u flip ppl off w ur nose holes 2.) i dont Even go to Your school hoW would I see it

 

Kageyama Tobio: He flared his nostrils.

 

mattsunishighleavehimalone: nose holes lmao

 

hinahitmyass: i was talking abotu my team you FR ICK

 

Kageyama Tobio: Can I ask something?

 

Dadchi Doesn't Approve: *takes out camera*

 

sugasuckmyass: *screams loudly* OF COURSE SWEETIE

 

Kageyama Tobio: Nevermind, I don't want to ask it anymore.

 

hinahitmyass: do it, coward

 

mattsunishighleavehimalone: what is Going On with the tangerine

 

hinahitmyass: DO IT COWARD

 

YamabOOTY: D O I T C O W A R D

 

nYOOM: D  O  I  T  C  O  W  A  R  D

 

yEETchi: D   O   I   T   C   O   W   A   R   D 

 

Kageyama Tobio: I was literally just going to ask how people raise one eyebrow or flare their nostrils, Jesus.

 

hinahitmyass: SIGHS

 

Our Lord and Savior Assahi™: daichi doesn't look very happy, what are you guys doing?

 

Our Lord and Savior Assahi™: oh nevermind

 

nYOOM: leave while u still can asahi

 

sugasuckmyass: i think it has smth to do with ur face muscles?? im not rlly sure sorry :(

 

Kageyama Tobio: It's okay.

 

hinahitmyass: yamayama u type like my mom its weird s top

 

Kageyama Tobio: You know what?

 

hinahitmyass: what

 

Kageyama Tobio: Heck You.

 

hinahitmyass: i

 

sugasuckmyass: im sorry tha was horribke but i cant stop cackling

 

nYOOM: HECK YOU DUSFGUSDFHS

 

Dadchi Doesn't Approve: GET TO PRACTICE YE HECKS

 

hinahitmyass: dadchi is a pirate now coolio

 

Dadchi Doesn't Approve: 10 laps

 

hinahitmyass: IM L EABING

 

* * *

 

 

**[Private chat between SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY and Mother Sugar]**

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo can u bring me like,, a slurpee pls

 

Mother Sugar: u just left the group on the walk home why are u asking me this now??

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: w h o o p s wrong person Sorry fushdufsd

 

Mother Sugar: what???????

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: i was tryna text my mom PFFT

 

Mother Sugar: OH MY GOD

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: IMSORRY

 

Mother Sugar: yknow what ima bring u a slurpee to show im the Superior Mother

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: dang ok tank u

 

Mother Sugar: <3

 

Mother Sugar: ALSO

 

Mother Sugar: are u ok?? u seemed a bit more angrey today then usual

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: ye just some stuff w my family no biggie

 

Mother Sugar: i'm sorry about that :( i'm always here if u needa talk

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: yea ik i just dont feel in the mood

 

Mother Sugar: thats ok!! what flavor slurpee u want

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: COKE

 

* * *

 

 

**[Private chat between Kenma and Shouyo]**

 

Shouyo: how will we know when the world is ending? will it be subtle like a small disease we think is nothing but it's actually something super serious? or huge like a explosion from outer space that will just wipe us out entirely?

 

Kenma: probably a disease.

 

Kenma: the government will keep it from us in trying to "protect" us but actually they were the ones who started the disease and had one person go and spread it just to kill off human kind so that they could start their own new human kind species that listen to everything they say, like robots probably.

 

Shouyo: youre prolly right

 

Kenma: you okay?

 

Shouyo: yeah

 

Kenma: wanna play Don't Starve Together?

 

Shouyo: yeah

 

Kenma: okay.

 

* * *

 

 

**[Private chat between Calm Cat Setter?? and Scary Setter]**

 

Calm Cat Setter??: you should talk to shouyo.

 

Scary Setter: Um. Why?

 

Calm Cat Setter??: you're the closest one to him, aren't you? like bonded or something?

 

Scary Setter: We aren't really that close.

 

Calm Cat Setter??: talk to him.

 

Scary Setter: ...

 

* * *

 

 

**[Private chat between yamayama and Dumbass]**

 

yamayama: Hey. Uh. What're you doing?

 

Dumbass: ...?

 

Dumbass: playing a game?

 

yamayama: Oh. 

 

Dumbass: is there something u neeeddd orrr??

 

yamayama: Uhh. How are you?

 

Dumbass: did suga set you up to this?

 

yamayama: What?

 

Dumbass: tell him im fine!!!!!! its just a disagreement thats all, jeez

 

yamayama: What are you talking about?

 

Dumbass: ...suga didn't tell you to talk to me?

 

yamayama: No, that setter from Nekoma did.

 

Dumbass: i'm fine, leave me alone?

 

yamayama: Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im in an angst mood so :)
> 
> deadass this fic is so dry i m sorry
> 
> comment some gud shit so i have some gud ol' motivation <3
> 
> NEW DISCORD SERVER!! [Click here to join! :D](https://discord.gg/ktn3ZQA)  
> if yall wanna chat hmu on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain)  
> ask me anything (can be stupid or not even a question, just leave shit, im lonely) on my [Tumblr](https://stunningmcclain.tumblr.com)  
> also if yall wanna talk ocs or make some cool ass fanart of my babies check out my [OC Tumblr](https://stunningocs.tumblr.com/)


	3. anime tiddies!!! (just kidding this is family friendly pg clean)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugarmomma ;): do u love him??
> 
> Oiks!!!: *SPITS TEA*
> 
> Oiks!!!: U NEED SLEEP UR ASKING SUCH DEEP QUESTIONS WAY TOO LATE IN THE NIGHT
> 
> Sugarmomma ;): ur not even wrong i havent slept in 4 days and have been running on coffee and 5hr energy + redbull even tho it tastes like shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not even funny but thank u for 600+ reads!!! im so happy you guys are enjoying this!!
> 
> ps sorry for not adding the other characters yet im a slow bitch :)

sugasuckmyass: y'all ik its like 4am and im supposed 2 b the responsible one but im crying listening to demi lovato while a spider stares at me across the room

 

oikaweewee: omg go set him free!!

 

Tsukishima Kei: Kill it.

 

oikaweewee: DONT LISTEN TO GLASSES-CHAN THE POOR SPIDER DOENST DESRERVE DEATH

 

sugasuckmyass: where is my husband when i need him

 

sugasuckmyass: WAIT

 

sugasuckmyass: HWY ARE YOU TWO UPGO TO BED!!!

 

oikaweewee: dont @ me but im like,,, an insomniac

 

Tsukishima Kei: I'm watching a movie.

 

sugasuckmyass: @ oikawa, wtf u need cuddles where is ur boyfriend. @ tsukishima, bitch go 2 bed

 

Tsukishima Kei: You're not my real mom?

 

oikaweewee: lmao what boyf

 

sugasuckmyass: TSUKISHIMA THAT HURT

 

sugasuckmyass: uhhhh??? iwaizumi's not ur boyf??

 

oikaweewee: BTICH

 

oikaweewee: PM U BUM

 

Tsukishima Kei: Wait, you two aren't together? Odd.

 

oikaweewee: frick a dick

 

* * *

 

 

**[Private chat between Oiks!!! and Sugarmomma ;)]**

 

Oiks!!!: can u delete texts becuz ill literally choke in my sleep if iwachan sees that

 

Sugarmomma ;): i genuinely thought u were dating???

 

Oiks!!!: lmao i Wish

 

Sugarmomma ;): ah yea he is quite thick isnt he

 

Oiks!!!: thick and thicc

 

Sugarmomma ;): are u fr rn im tryna have a srs convo w u

 

Oiks!!!: the spider's still there isnt it

 

Sugarmomma ;): SHUSH

 

Sugarmomma ;): anyways,,

 

Sugarmomma ;): do u love him??

 

Oiks!!!: *SPITS TEA*

 

Oiks!!!: U NEED SLEEP UR ASKING SUCH DEEP QUESTIONS WAY TOO LATE IN THE NIGHT

 

Sugarmomma ;): ur not even wrong i havent slept in 4 days and have been running on coffee and 5hr energy + redbull even tho it tastes like shit

 

Oiks!!!: ill call daichi!!!!!!!

 

Sugarmomma ;): snitch

 

Oiks!!!: bitch

 

Sugarmomma ;): ...THE SPIDER LEFT IM GONNA LISTEN 2 U AND SLEEP ILY I HOPE U HAVE WET DREAMS OF IWAIZUMI

 

Oiks!!!: ure actually the worst person ive ever met

 

Oiks!!!: <3

 

* * *

 

 

hinahitmyass: GOOD MORNING I JUST FOUND MY MOMS MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS AND AM BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS

 

hinahitmyass: also @ earleir convo oikaweiner is an insomniac who knew omg

 

nYOOM: hinata wtf u already have enough energy

 

Dadchi Doesn't Approve: well there goes my energy i think hinata took it

 

hinahitmyass: thanks dad!

 

Kageyama Tobio: ?

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: Seems Hinata needs to get some water to chill.

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: Also, Sugawara- why would you think that?

 

oikaweewee: @ suga ihy

 

oikaweewee: also iwachan can u pick me up coffee im actually dying

 

sugasuckmyass: yoinks!!!!

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: I'll be there soon Shittykawa.

 

sugasuckmyass: DOES NO ONE ELSE SEE HOW DOMESTIC THAT IS

 

hinahitmyass: ha gay

 

mattsunishighleavehimalone: iwa has been putty in oikawas hands 4ever where u been

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: That's not true!

 

oikaweewee: yeah it is lmao

 

makkisuxdicc: iwa once ran over to oiks house becuz he said he was lonely and then when he got there oiks was passed out and he just let him sleep like the good Boy he is

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: I'm getting you black coffee, Crappykawa.

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: I'm putting rice in your shorts Makki.

 

oikaweewee: i tAKE IT BACK I MSORRY

 

makkisuxdicc: kinky ;)

 

hinahitmyass: ew

 

hinahitmyass: yo @ karasuno not finna be there sozo

 

sugasuckmyass: you ok?

 

hinahitmyass: stuffs happenin tis all good

 

yEETchi: :((

 

* * *

 

**[Private chat between Mother Sugar and SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY]**

 

Mother Sugar: you sure everythings ok?

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: dont tell anyone

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: my sisters sick

 

Mother Sugar: what? is she okay?

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: no, suga shes been sick. like for years, and its jsut not been going so well recently. it just keeps coming back.

 

Mother Sugar: i'm so sorry.

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: its not your fault?? its just been stressing me out and my mother has been short tempered recently, its really nothing. it happens every once in a while. 

 

Mother Sugar: you can always talk to me!! im always here for you, shou.

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: thanks

 

Mother Sugar: i hope you dont mind me asking, what is she sick with?

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: medulloblastoma. brain cancer.

 

Mother Sugar: oh my god. is there any cure?

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: yeah, and we're gonna be trying some treatments soon, but her rates are super low... idk i dont really wanna talk about it anymore.

 

Mother Sugar: im sorry for pushing you!! if you ever need to vent or talk abt it im here.

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: its ok! just dont mention it to the rest of the team, please?

 

Mother Sugar: i wont.

 

SUNSHINECINNAMONROLLBABY: thanks <3

 

Mother Sugar: <3

 

* * *

 

 

oikaweewee: he actually got me black coffee the hEathen!!! then he left me all alone with my sad coffee!!!

 

YamaBOOTY: black coffee is delicious, i think YOU are the heathen!!!

 

oikaweewee: ew wtf go away

 

Tsukishima Kei: I second that. Black coffee is too strong.

 

shimmymyjimmies: pussies

 

yEETchi: shimizu omg

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: sorry, I'm too busy being COOL B)

 

oikaweewee: ...

 

oikaweewee: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH IWACHAN!!!!!!!

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: i dont knw what youre talking about?? im iwachan??

 

oikaweewee: see, he'd never call himself iwachan or not type correctly

 

mattsunishighleavehimalone: WHOMST

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: SDIJFSDAFSDFSD

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: Sorry, Kuroo took my phone.

 

oikaweewee: u left me for KUROO!!!! THE AUDACITY

 

Iwaizumi Arm-chan: He needed help with something, don't be selfish.

 

oikaweewee: :((

 

hinahitmyass: o shit!!! i 4got to add the nekoma bois!!!

 

hinahitmyass: ill do it later

 

Kageyama Tobio: You okay? I haven't been able to reach you.

 

Dadchi Doesn't Approve: WHY WERE YOU TEXTING IN CLASS

 

hinahitmyass: im aight!! ill b there tomorrow yeEt

 

Kageyama Tobio: Ok...

 

* * *

 

 

sugasuckmyass: WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY SHORTS

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu!!!
> 
> ive been researching medulloblastoma for like an hour, but if i got anything i said/say is wrong blease correct me!!  
> ps oikawa angst might be coming sorry dont @ me  
> also the angst is sort of,, sprinkled in this chapter... i still wanted some humor :D
> 
> comment something please!! i love reading your comments ^^  
> kudos are appreciated as well!!
> 
> hueheheh discord server [Click here to join! :D](https://discord.gg/ktn3ZQA)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain)  
> [Tumblr](https://stunningmcclain.tumblr.com)  
> [OC Tumblr](https://stunningocs.tumblr.com/)


End file.
